My niece has a wiggly tooth, which is to be expected at her age. During dinner last night, she was “ouching” as she ate.

Sister: If it hurts, then eat it on the other side.

Niece: No, my tooth is all wiggly and bleeding and I LOVE THE BLOOD!

At which point, her mother films my niece going on about how much she loves blood, how sharp her teeth are, and ending with the proclamation that she is a vampire.

I guess this is progress because this is the same girl who told her teacher that cannibalism is wrong. If she’s a vampire, then it’s not cannibalism. As long as she’s not sparkly.